Posts Tagged ‘love’

Singleness

April 9, 2008

I closed the book and sighed. I didn’t want to be single forever. And I didn’t want to prepare for it! My dreams were somewhere over the rainbow, just waiting to happen. They contained a prince, a wedding, and a happily ever after. Sounds like the perfect Disney movie, no? The author, of course, was dead on. Singleness truly is a gift. But I didn’t want to admit it! I felt much more comfortable reading books that told girls to prepare for marriage, to save their hearts for their future husbands. But acknowledging that I may not have that happily ever after? No. That was not for me.

 I picked that book up again a few months later, still with an unwilling heart. I didn’t finish it that time either. I didn’t want to admit that singleness for the rest of my life could be a good thing. After all, why would I want to live alone with no husband to love me? Why would I want to have an empty house with not children running about? The idea seemed better for others who were more content and had their minds anywhere but marriage.

A year later, I was babysitting and while the kids were occupied with other things, I decided to read. And as I read a completely different book on a completely different subject, it hit me: If I was single for the rest of my life, it would be o.k. I would have things to do. I thought about the single women I knew and realized that they fill their time with serving, ministry, spending time with younger girls, hanging out with their families, and so many other spectacular things. It just clicked. It wouldn’t be so bad after all.

I firmly believe that we are not married from birth for a reason. We need time to, most importantly, grow in the Lord, as well as to learn how to care for a home, husband, and family. It takes time to change habits that would run dear ole’ Hubby out the window!  I know I am certainly not ready, spiritually, mentally, physically (I am such a weak young lady! It’s hard to screw in a light bulb sometimes!), and practically. I have so much to learn! And even though we wouldn’t like to admit it, the majority of us young women are not ready to get married. Again and again I am astounded at the wisdom God had when He designed the time of singleness. It is not meant to waste away, wishing and hoping and sitting around doing nothing. It is a time of purpose.

During the time we are single, we have so many opportunities to serve in our families, in our homes in general, in our churches, in our community, and in the world itself. We are not “tied down” by having a family and home to care for (Although every young woman’s circumstance and family may be different, so this may not always be the case.) Therefore, we may have much more time to commit to various forms of ministry and learning. There is much we cannot do when we have children that we can do now. For instance, I want to go on a few short-term mission trips before I have kids, Lord willing. I know it’d be an amazing time of growth and serving. It’d be far more difficult to do when I have little pipsqueaks running around my messy house (And I say that affectionately!)

While this knowledge may not always be a comfort when we feel lonely, at least we can know that this time was created by God and for a purpose. We must remember that God is good, He is in control, He is sovereign, and He knows. He is working all things together for the good of those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).

Only those lonely rainy–or not so rainy–nights, I like to read books or articles that talk about our life in Christ– growing and glorifying Him. Some great examples are Knowing God by J.I. Packer, Heaven by Randy Alcorn, and Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George. I also prefer to listen to music that glorifies Him. Songs like these can be found through Sovereign Grace Music (My favorite CD is Songs for the Cross Centered Life). Sometimes, calling up a friend just to talk or busying one’s self with family can help us to focus more on Christ and growing in Him.

{{Discussion}}

  • What do you to focus more on Christ in times of loneliness?
  • What “comforts” you?
  • What are you spending your single years doing? What are your plans and desires to fulfill, Lord willing, before marriage?
  • Do you have any thoughts you’d like to share with us on the subject?

 Love,

Bethany

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Future Husbands

October 18, 2007

(I am posting this because 1. I do not believe it has been talked about much, and 2. It is on my heart heavily!)

Future husbands. What a beautiful, romantic, thrilling subject. I know their is nothing I would rather talk about at times! However, recently I have been asking myself some very nitty gritty questions, hard questions like “Is my future husband’s job a criteria (such as a calling to missions)” and “If I truly believe the Lord is bringing me a husband, and will provide for me always as He takes care of the birds of the field, should I go to college?”  and “easier” possibly silly ones such as “Is he the one?” (Oh how I dread that question!)

Several hours have been spent with my journal, Bible, and a handy little book called “Discovering God’s Will” by Sinclair Furgeson. (I highly recommend what I have read of this book so far.) The first question I tackled was actually two in one “Am I called to missions? And, should having a husband who wants to be a missionary in a foreign country be one of my “requirements?” I all ready know that going to the mission field as a single young woman is not in my future. (That is for a different post, I base much of my belief on that from the woman of the Bible and So Much More) But, I have had a heart for Uganda for a long time now. Their is a family from our church who run an orphanage in Uganda. With all my heart I would love to do that. But, the Lord has led me to some conclusions that cause me to believe I won’t be doing that.

The first conclusion is that it would be wrong for me to marry someone because of their career choice. In the Bible, did girls marry there husbands because they knew they would do things like part the Red Sea, or own a huge sheep farm, etc?! No. The husband loved them, they (apparently) loved him, and they lived happily ever after. While I do hope I am priveleged enough to get to love my husband (!), I don’t want his career to factor in to me loving him. What if he no longer felt the Lord was leading him to that? That could be a problem.

Thus, I believe that whatever the Lord is leading him too I am called to be his helpmeet too. That could be something like running a mechanic shop to developing a world wide ministry. Who knows? The Lord does!

“Should I go to college?” was the next question I tackled. Currently I have a “don’t plan on it” from the Lord. I have talked about it before on here, and may go deeper in the future, but it is a whole post in and of itself.

And….”Is he the one?” Welll…….I don’t know this one yet. You can all be praying I guard my heart like the Smithsonian guards diamonds! Let’s just say….”When I fall in love…it will be forever…” (I’ve been listening to Josh Groban for about two days straight. Anyone else think that guy has awesome talent?)