Crushes, Relationships, and Love…Oh My!!!- Part One

I have been really struggling with my heart lately. I want to be focused only on the Lord. I don’t want to waste my single years with meaningless crushes that I will regret later on in life. I pray and pray and pray that the Lord would create in me a pure heart. I think of Isaiah 54:5- “Your husband is your maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts.” How I want that to be true of me!

This morning I went out to a little park by my house- bringing with me 5 children (who I was babysitting) and my 3 favorite books on purity: Emotional Purity by Heather Paulsen, Before You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Mally, and Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot. The last is my personal favorite. I identify so well with Elizabeth Elliot; at least in some matters of the heart.

What do we do when we have feelings for someone? I know its so easy to say “Oh yes, pray, and than God will take away those feelings.” But what if God wants you to have those feelings, and fight them? What if the person you have feelings for is the person you are going to marry? Now, that doesn’t mean to throw caution to the wind and post pictures of him all over your wall! It also doesn’t mean to start planning your wedding and letting him take over your thoughts.

But, I think we do need to think about God’s soverignty in our “love lifes”. God knew that I would be attracted to ____ even before I was born! He brought this person into your life to test you, to make you stronger. Even if you are to marry your crush, you still need to focus your heart and emotions on God.

I think of Jim and Elizabeth Elliot. They were attracted to each other when they first met. They both had to fight to keep there feelings in line with God’s word. The end result: they married. So, since marriage was the end, would it have been fine for them to do whatever they pleased in their relationship? Spend hours daydreaming about the other person, write them mushy letters, long hugs, quick kisses? They did marry, right?

Wrong. I think that guarding their hearts made their relationship stronger. It definitly helped them to use their times of singleness more productivly. Its definitly possible that the feelings you have for someone won’t go away. But we must learn to work past them.

 E.Elliot says “The only way to build a house on the rock is to hear the Word (I couldn’t have heard the Word if all I heard was my feelings) and then to try to do it.” Don’t listen to your feelings. Listen to the Word of God. Discern what He has to say. And than, follow Him with all your heart, soul, strength and might.

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3 Responses to “Crushes, Relationships, and Love…Oh My!!!- Part One”

  1. maidensofmodesty Says:

    This has been a HUGE conviction for me as well!
    It is SO important to guard our hearts instead of just let our emotions run free with us, and ‘opening love early’.

    It’s so hard to keep our hearts guarded though, I personally find it a challange to not look at some of my closest guy friends and think “hmm, I wonder if God is working between him and I for something deeper than brother/sister.” (Ouch, yeah, that’s my own sin. But by the grace of God, He has shown me that, and He is helping me work on it.)

    Have you ever read the book ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’? Personally, I found it VERY encouraging. Just because I knew that if someone else can do it, I could too, God could/would work through me and sanctify my sin.

    Keep up the good work, my sister in Christ, God is calling you to some deep stuff. All you have to do is have the courage to write about it. ;)

    In Christ’s amazing goodness,
    ~Danica (from Maidens of Modesty)

  2. somethinggreaterblog Says:

    Yes, I have read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye”. I have definitly “kissed dating goodbye!”

    Thank you for your encouraging comment. :)

  3. Erin Says:

    i can sooooo relate to you! and i agree with you completely. only my situation is a tad bit different.
    i don’t know if i told you or not, but there was this guy in my life, who has been in my life for five years. and to tell you the truth, i haven’t even seen his face since i was 14. dude, you could call my obsessed. thats because i was. i’m not posting to brag about my experience, i’m just using it as an example. i knew very well this man wasn’t the one God had for me, yet my feelings were practically controling me. it even eventually lead… to things i won’t mention here.
    i often prayed, like you said, for God to take these feelings away from me. like what could be the point of me having feelings for some jerk? it was like a weakness. this guy was my weakness! even when i would hear his name i melted! yet, God never took those feelings away from me. i didn’t understand, and i saw myself as stupid. and sometimes i still see myself as stupid cause i wasted 5 years of my life dreaming of a jerk who doesn’t deserve a girl like me.
    what was weird about this whole deal was, i actually learned a lot going through this obsession. it seems, that i was able to see inside many girls lives who were dating guys just like this one. and it made me want to committ to Gods will more, and wait on what He has instore for me.
    i often, and still do, ask God to send the man in His perfect timing. i kept thinking ,” once i meet the one, these feelings for this other guy will go away.” still haven’t met him yet. but really, just a week ago, was the very first time i told God,” Lord, i give you my heart. i want You to find love for me.” this next part is so cool. the guy i have not been able to get out of my mind for five years, doesn’t exist in my head anymore. it was like it vanished. KABOOM! its gone. i am still dealing with things, but it seems now i am finally letting go little at a time instead of holding on to the whole idea of this guy.

    this topic has been a HUGE one my whole life…well as a teen anyway. i so relate to what you have described. and i have also read I kissed dating good-bye. its one of my favs, and has inspired me to keep my first kiss til my wedding day.

    even though i have gone passed a few things concering this subject, i still struggle with keeping my heart focused on Christ. i usually look around when i go shopping or go anywhere to see if there is the guy waiting for me to look at him! ya i know, i’m pathetic. old habits die hard i guess. but your heart is in the right place. i bet women who are in their 30’s and single still struggle with this.

    anyway….i am sorry this is long. i didn’t entend it to be. haha

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